


Keeping

by L56895



Series: Kinktober 2020 [7]
Category: Final Fantasy X-2
Genre: Asphyxiation, Choking, Depression, F/M, Kinktober, Kinktober 2020, Suicidal Thoughts, kink: asphyxiation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:01:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26937805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L56895/pseuds/L56895
Summary: Paine will do anything to keep him
Relationships: Nooj/Paine (Final Fantasy X-2)
Series: Kinktober 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1952539
Kudos: 1





	Keeping

**Author's Note:**

> Day 7’s prompt was asphyxiation. I’m still behind, but hoping to eventually get 31 stories written, even if I have to pretend October has 40 days (what does it matter this year anyways?)

She was losing him again.  
  
There was nothing obvious, nothing blatant, except she knew it in her bones. It was in the way he would come back to their rooms when he thought she would be asleep, only to disturb her as she lay awake waiting, and the restless way he would toss and turn next to her. Gripped again by his nightmares about death and the desire for it. It was in the way his body was bruised from battles, fought recklessly and with more fervour, and the way Lucil threw him wary glances when Paine came to meet him at the end of the day. His caresses were distracted and distant, when they came, and he would simply stroke her hair when she pleasured him, tasting him on her tongue and praying it would take the bitterness away.  
  
She could face losing him to another woman, maybe. Or to have them drift apart back to the camaraderie they'd shared during the Crimson Squad. It would hurt but it was the kind of pain she could deal with- maybe temporary and soothed by the very existence of him in the periphery. But she knew that what she would lose him to was no tempting seductress, or simple boredom. She'd lose him to pain and anguish; his body broken on the rocks of the Moonflow that he stared at so intently.  
  
And so she was surprised one evening to find him home before her; smelling clean and alive, his skin damp to the touch. When he pulled her close his body was cool, the machina oiled and his limbs loose around her. She followed willingly as he tugged her gently towards their bed, guided her down next to him. They moved slowly, hands exploring parts that seemed almost unfamiliar now, and kissed gently until he eased her down and bit in to her neck, spurred her on to shed her clothes and begin on his. His attentions were rough, more so than usual, but she accepted them gratefully, moaned her appreciation as he nipped and scratched and grabbed at her exposed body.

Then, he flipped her and she found herself falling on to his chest on top of him. He didn’t return her lazy grin, but watched her carefully. His throat moved as he swallowed before parting his lips to speak.

“I need... something.”

Propping herself up with an elbow either side of his head, she bent to kiss him, felt his mouth hungry on hers, before lifting her head again to meet his gaze. His eyes shone beneath his glasses, red rimmed from lack of sleep, and she nearly wept at the sorrow there. She would make him happy, if she achieved nothing else she swore she would make him willing to stay.

“Anything...” she breathed. And she meant it, anything to keep him. Anything to never have to face a world without him again. He shifted beneath her, brought his good arm up to grip her wrist and bring it down to cradle at his chest.

“Choke me,” he whispered and for a moment she stared back at him, processing the words.

“What?”

“Please,” he guided her hand to her throat. “Paine...”

His skin was rough under her palms, stubble that had escaped his obsessive hygiene routine, and she flexed her hand experimentally against his neck. Under her grip he gasped, eyes lighting up behind his spectacles and her stomach flipped. Alive. He was alive beneath her. Then, a cold chill. Alive but still craving the feel of death’s grip on his throat. Could she give him that relief and still keep him? Despite her misgivings, despite the discomfort that crept up her spine it would be worth it to try. To bring them both relief and repair things between them.

She realised he was ready for her, hard and writhing beneath her even as she loosened her grip on his throat. Shuffling back, she mounted him, moaned at the feel of him inside her and then composed herself, returned her attention back to what he had asked of her.

“Okay,” she whispered, bending to press her lips to his, hands cupping his face. She lowered her voice to be barely audible, afraid of breaking the delicate truce between them. “I love you.”

Riding him, slowly at first and then with growing fervour, she pressed her hand to his throat and felt his pulse beneath her fingertips. Squeezing the side of his neck gently, she watched as his eyes rolled with pleasure, felt his hips rise up to meet hers as she quickened her pace. She wanted him to touch her, bring her over the edge with him, but instead she kept focus, watched his face for signs of distress and rolled her hips to feel the pressure between her legs before easing back in to her previous rhythm. Locking her free arm against the pillow beside his head for balance, she increased the pressure along with her pace until she felt him gasping for air and clawing at her wrist as he came, shuddering, beneath her. He held her hand there, although she loosened her grip to a caress, thumb stroking against his pulse and reached up with his other hand to pull her fish against his chest.

They lay there quietly, Paine listening to the sound of his heart pounding and feeling the gentle thrum of his pulse under her thumb, until he shifted his hips and rolled her back on to her side. He pulled a blanket from somewhere, tucked it around them both to keep away the chill that had crept in to the room. Somewhere, a light was still on, but there had been so many sleepless nights recently, Paine couldn’t bring herself to care. He was here with her and only that mattered.

“Thank you,” he breathed finally, pressing close to her. Soon enough, his breathing slowed, his grip on her slackened as he drifted off. Peacefully asleep for the first time in weeks. Paine held her breath, still feeling for his pulse until sleep finally claimed her too.


End file.
